Life's Shadows
by Confessed4Life
Summary: After reluctantly continuing her duty as Mother Confessor, Kahlan takes a mate, but the decision begins a downfall that no one can stop.
1. Chapter 1

His eyes found her instantly, she was lying in her bed, the covers hanging loosely off of her shoulder and she slept peacefully. Walking quietly toward the bed, Richard tried his best not to wake her; it had been so long since she had been able to sleep. Nightmares had terrorized her each night, making her wake up with a soft scream or cry as she clutched the blankets against her chest. After a few nights, she had gathered the courage to ask him to stay the night with her. He was the only person she he had confided in, the only one who knew about the dreams.

He wondered if he should be there, she was already asleep and he feared that he would wake her. When she began to mumble in her sleep, he knew he needed to stay. Whatever it was that she was dreaming about, it was upsetting to her and he couldn't leave her alone. Lying down, he pressed his chest against her back and wrapped his arm around her waist, holding her to him. The moment he touched her, her body relaxed completely, seeming to know that it was him and that she was safe. It made him feel good that she trusted him so much.

They had defeated Darken Rahl and just returned her home to Aydindril, where she was taken into the routines of The Mother Confessor and had taken another man to her bed. She had taken another man to her bed and still he stayed. It was then that she knew without a doubt that he loved her. It broke her heart. The headaches started two weeks before, sometimes knocking her unconscious from the pain. They turned into dreams, dreams of death and destruction, visions that were too upsetting for anyone to have. She told him of one, he had never seen her so afraid, so unsure and he felt so frustrated that he was unable to comfort her. She moved, jarring him from his thoughts as she whimpered his name.

"I'm right here," he whispered into her ear, tightening his hold on her. "You're safe."

Opening her eyes, she turned into his arms and hugged him. "How long have you been here?"

"Not long. I was worried that I would wake you. For a while, you seemed to be sleeping peacefully."

"I wasn't." Pressing her nose into his neck, she took a deep breath. His scent was comforting, bringing a warm feeling washing over her as she closed her eyes. She felt safe; she knew that as long as he was holding her, nothing would harm her. Without thinking, she kissed his neck, letting her lips linger against him for a moment before she realized what she was doing. "I'm sorry," she whispered, pulling back and laying on her back. "I shouldn't have done that."

"I didn't mind." He grinned, laying his hand over hers as they rested on her stomach. She stared up at him, her eyes revealing her feelings, her desires. "Was it the same again? The dream?" He knew that he shouldn't tell her how much he wanted to kiss her; it would only end in hurting her.

"Almost. I keep seeing the fire, the war, but this time it was different. You-" shaking her head, Kahlan looked away from him and sighed. "It's not important. They're only dreams."

"They're important if they scare you. You shouldn't have to live with these. Maybe you should see Zedd."

She nearly cried the words she needed to say, the ones she had been hiding for days. She didn't want to tell him. "I already have. Yesterday, when you went hunting."

"What did he say?" she closed her eyes, knowing if she looked into his, she would break down. "Kahlan?"

"Please don't make me tell you." Tears fell as she blinked her eyes, looking up at him in fear.

"Kahlan, what's wrong?"

"Nothing. Everything. I can't tell you."

"Why not?"

She licked her lips quickly and rolled onto her side, facing away from him. "Because I'm terrified of what will happen if I do. I don't want you to hate me."

"I could never hate you," he said tenderly, gently laying his hand on her shoulder. "My feelings for you could never change."

Closing her eyes, she pushed her head into the pillow, trying not to cry. "I'm pregnant."

His hand left her instantly and she broke. Her tears were unstoppable; she couldn't catch her breath as she waited to hear him leave the room. Her body jumped as he laid down beside her, she couldn't understand why he was pulling her into his arms. How could he want to touch her now that she not only been with another man, but carried his child as well. She wanted to grab his arm, to hold him closer, but she was afraid to do it.

Richard pressed his forehead against the back of her shoulder, tightening his arm around her as she cried. "It's all right, Kahlan. Everything is going to be all right. This doesn't change anything."

"It... Changes... Everything," she cried.

He grabbed her firmly and rolled her onto her back, making her look at him. He needed her to see the truth of his words; she would never believe him otherwise. "No it doesn't. Kahlan, you are still the woman that I love. The child that you carry doesn't change that. This child," he laid his hand on top of her stomach, emphasizing his words; "she doesn't make me love you any less. She makes me happy for you. This child is a part of you and I love her too."

"How can you say that? How can you say that after what I have done? How can you still care about me after I have taken another and carry his child? How can you look at me like this, like you still love me?"

"Because any other look would be a lie. I do still love you. When you were with him, I- it nearly killed me, but I knew that you didn't want him. I knew that if I had found a way, it would have been with me and I realized that it didn't change anything. I still loved you and you loved me. That's all that matters. You carry another man's child, but you also carry my heart. Don't you see? There is nothing that changes how we feel about each other. Our love, it is everything. We cannot make love, but we've laid here in this bed for the past two weeks and not once have I felt that it wasn't enough. This is the only way that I can show you that I love you and I will never fail to show you."

She couldn't find words; every part of her wanted to hold him, cry in his arms, kiss him and make passionate love to him. She couldn't do any of them. Slowly, she moved her hand out and touched the side of his face, her fingers lingering against his skin for a moment before she pulled them back. Her mind was spinning, her heart pounding in her ears; thumping wildly as he ran his hand over her stomach. His eyes were locked on hers, unwilling to look away until he was sure that she understood how he felt.

"Is this why you have been having the dreams?" she nodded slowly, still unable to speak. "What was different about the dream you just had?"

"You," she answered quietly, her eyes closing for a moment as though remembering the dream. "I saw you... Die."

"It was only a dream."

Shaking her head, she released her tears. "No, before it was only a dream. Now it is more than a nightmare."

"I'm not going to die. I'm not going to leave you." Leaning over her, he cupped her cheek in his hand and smiled. "I'm going to be here with you until you want me to leave."

"I will never want you to leave. I love you."

"Then it is settled. I'm going to spend forever with you, like this. Happy."

She surprised him, wrapping her arms around his neck; Kahlan pulled him to her and kissed him. It was passionate, deep and loving; making it appear as though they had done it many times before. This was the first time since they had arrived in Aydindril that their lips had touched; she feared one kiss would destroy their lives. His kiss was intoxicating and filled with desire; she could hardly believe he still felt that way for her. She found herself lost in their kiss, her mind and body relaxed with his touch, filling her with silent comfort.

Pulling back, Richard began to kiss her face, everywhere he could reach, desperately trying to show her how much he loved her, how beautiful she was and how it would be for the rest of his life. She was everything to him. Life was nothing without her. Her fingers ran through his hair, tangling them as she took hold and began to pull, a soft moan leaving her lips as he covered her neck with warm, wet, fiery kisses. She almost forgot what she was, almost begged for him to take her, but then reason came flooding back to her.

Just as she opened her mouth to say his name, ask him to stop, he pulled away. "Come here." Lying on his back, he pulled her into his arms, her head resting against his chest as he wrapped his arms around her. "Try to get some sleep. We'll find someone to help with your dreams in the morning."

"You'll be here when I wake up?"

"I promise." He almost smiled as she pulled herself closer. "What was it like? Taking him as your mate."

She swallowed hard, his words shocking her. "What was it like with Anna?"

He knew what she was trying to do. If he didn't answer her, she wouldn't answer him. "It was different than I thought it would be. It was quick; we didn't speak for days after. I didn't want to see her. The moment it was over, I realized that it meant nothing to me."

"It was terrifying, hurtful. I didn't want to do it. I couldn't look at him. I couldn't stop crying. I don't think he even noticed." Taking in a deep breath, she closed her eyes and allowed herself to feel comfort by his fingers circling along her back. "I imagined that it was you."

He didn't know what to say, unsure if anything would make her feel better. "I love you, Kahlan."

She was asleep instantly.

He waited by the door, his back facing her as she dressed herself. He talked, making sure that she knew that he was there, even if she was looking at him. "I hadn't noticed the details on the door. They're remarkable."

"I'm dressed. You don't have to stare at the door any longer." She withheld a laugh as he reached out and ran his fingers over the door. "I'm standing behind you, naked."

"What?" Turning around, he looked her over and frowned. "No, you're not."

"No, I'm not. You wouldn't have turned around if you thought that I was." She studied his face as she walked toward him, waiting to see some sign of disappointment, but there was none. "We should go. If I don't do this now, I never will."

"It will be all right."

Shaking her head, Kahlan sighed. "No, it won't. If they were simply dreams, they would not repeat. They would not haunt me as they have. They are a warning."

Richard followed closely behind as she moved through the halls. At times, he found himself staring as her hair flowed behind her and her dress hugged her as she walked. The sight of her always took his breath away. She rubbed her hands against her sides, wiping the sweat off as her nerves grew.

"No, no, no." She stopped and turned around; trying to go back, go anywhere that wasn't where they were going. "Let's go back; we don't need to see her."

"Yes we do. Kahlan, if you don't go in there, you will never forgive yourself." Taking her hands in his, he stepped closer to her and looked deeply into her eyes. "This will make you feel better."

"All right, but you can't come in. I will never be able to talk to her, to tell her what I have dreamed, if you are in there."

Nodding, Richard pulled her into his arms and hugged her. "If that's what you want, I will wait outside."


	2. Chapter 2

"What did she say?" his voice was filled with concern as she sat down at the table. Her eyes were red and she had tear stains on her cheeks, telling him that she had been crying.

Ignoring his questions, Kahlan tore a small piece of bread and stuffed it into her mouth, chewing slowly so that she couldn't answer him. Reaching over the table, she grabbed the bowl of fruit and pulled it toward her, glancing over at him as he sat down beside her. "Are you hungry?"

"No. Kahlan, what happened?"

"Did you know that pregnant women can have visions? I didn't."

He watched her fight back the tears, forcing herself to eat instead of cry. "It's all real?"

"Everything." Laying her hand on her stomach, she swallowed a strawberry and turned to face him. "This child, his child, has given me a look into a future where I watch you die, where everything around me turns into dust and I can't do anything to stop it."

"I'm not going to let it happen. I'm not going to allow anything to bring you pain. We're going to get through this and-"

"You cried my name. When you died. I tried to get to you, tried to stop it, but I couldn't move. They tortured you for days. I saw it all. I watched them tear you apart."

"What about everyone else? Your child?"

"She was the one who-" Turning her head, she leaned over and threw up onto the floor. Gasping for air, she fell from the chair and onto her knees in tears. "I am carrying a monster."

Moving to her side, Richard pushed her hair out of her face, gently rubbing back as she continued to vomit. "It's all right." She pushed into his side and wiped her mouth, trying to breathe without making herself sick again. The smell made it harder for her to breathe as she clung to his shirt. "You're all right."

"I can't have this child," she whimpered through tears. "The things she did to you..." Breathing heavily, she dug her fingers into his chest, trying to remind herself that he was there and still alive. "I can't have her- this monster inside of me has to- I cannot give birth to-"

"Don't say that. Kahlan, you don't mean it. You're afraid, that's all. Everything will be all right. I promise."

Gritting her teeth, Kahlan pulled out of his embrace and looked up at him. "You didn't see the look in her eyes. She enjoyed it. She knew how much it hurt you and she liked it. Her laugh, I still hear it mixing with your cries... I can't have this baby." Suddenly pushing him roughly away from her, she jumped up and grabbed something off of the table.

He thew himself on top of her, knocking her to the ground. Screaming, she tried to kick him off of her, tried to free her arms from his hold as she brought the knife to her stomach. He was surprised by her strength, her determination to rid herself of the child. He didn't recognize her. Kicking at his legs, she knocked him off of his knees and onto her, releasing a soft sigh with her cry as his chest pushed the knife into her. Moving quickly, he attempted to pull the blade from her skin, but she wouldn't let it go.

Tears flooded his eyes as blood began to stain the white cloth of her Mother Confessor's dress. The smile that came to her face terrified him. It wasn't her smile. She held the handle of the knife, her knuckles white as she tightened her hold on it. Taking napkins from the table, he laid them around the wound, hoping that in some way, it would stop the bleeding. He jumped as the door opened; he instantly shielded her body with his. Meeting his grandfather's eyes, he motioned to Kahlan, terrified.

"You have to help her!"

"No!" she shouted as he rushed to them. "Don't save her!"

Richard held her arms down, keeping her from pushing the wizard away as he pulled the knife from her stomach. Her body jerked around, wiping up the vomit with her dress as she tried to stop him from healing her. "You didn't hurt the child," he said quietly, finishing healing her wound.

"No..."

"Take her back to her room. She has lost a lot of blood. She needs to rest." They talked over her as if she wasn't there, ignoring her cries and whimpers. "I'll give her something to help her to rest. It will block the dreams."

It took them both to get her back to the room. Almost halfway back, she lost the will to fight them and went limp in Richard's arms.

The bedroom seemed bare now; Richard had taken everything that she could use to hurt herself out of the room. A single chair was all that remained beside the bed. The dressers, candle holders and mirrors, now rested in the hallway on the other side of the door. She was laying naked in the bed, he had asked her handmaiden to wash her dress, not wanting her lie in her own vomit. He hadn't left her side, he heard every word she whispered and everything she shouted at them until at last sleep took her over. It broke his heart seeing her like this, but he didn't know what to do.

Leaning back in the wooden chair, he brushed his fingers back through his hair with a sigh of frustration. Every thought that he had was dismissed as he tried to find a way to help her. The child was a part of her and he didn't want to lose it and he knew Kahlan well enough to know that she didn't truly want to lose it either. She coughed, pulling him from his thoughts and bringing his attention to her as she opened her eyes.

"How long?" her voice was timid as she ran her hands over her stomach, hoping to feel the wound.

"Almost a day. It's almost midday." Laying a hand on top of the blanket, he stopped hers. "Zedd healed you. I didn't tell him what happened. He thinks it was an accident."

"It wasn't."

"I know. I saw the look in your eyes when the blade went in." He pulled back, shaking his head, wanting to drown out his heart pounding in his ears. "How could you do that? Kahlan, she is your child."

"I don't want her." Turning her head, she met his eyes. "Kill her."

"What? No!" he shouted, horrified. "I will never do anything to harm you or your child."

"Then I want you to leave. If you won't help me, I don't want you here."

"I'm not going to leave you. I am helping you by being here. I don't know what is going on with you, but I know that one day you will realize that this child is a blessing. She is important and a wonderful joy."

Hatred filled her eyes, terrorizing him for a moment. "This child is a monster. This child removed every limb from your body with a smile, keeping you alive and awake each moment. This child cut the flesh from your bones, making an example out of you for standing against her. When she was finished with you, once she no longer felt pleased to hear your screams, she took what was left of you and... Get out. I don't want to look at you. Get out!" she shouted loudly, using all of her strength as she tried to get out of the bed. "Get out! I will be rid of this child!"

Grabbing her shoulders, he pushed her back to the bed, moving to straddle her as she attempted to move. "I'm not going to leave you alone. You need to lay back and rest. This is going to get better and you can scream at me, hit me and- you can do anything that you want to me, but I am not going to leave you. You mean more to me than anything else. I will protect you and this child, even if I am protecting you both from you."

"It's not us that you need to protect. Kill us, save everyone else."

"You both deserve to live. I am not going to murder you or your child because you fear the visions will come to pass." Wiping his thumb over her cheek, he removed the tears and sighed. "Everything is going to be fine. You'll see."

"It hurts!" Pushing him away, she threw the blankets from her body and screamed in pain.

Jumping back, Richard gasped as something pushed up against her stomach. Laying his hands over her, he tried to stop the skin from moving. Blood began to leak out around his hands as the knife wound began to reopen. "Help!" he shouted as loud as he could, knowing the guard on the other side of the door would get Zedd. A moment later, everything stopped.

Pulling his blood stained hands back; he looked down at her stomach. There was no sign of a wound; there was only a blood outline from his hands. Her eyes closed as he looked to her face, she looked exhausted.

"What happened?" Zedd's voice came in surprise.

"I don't know. One moment she was- She was bleeding, the wound had opened and she was screaming and then the next, she was calm and the wound was gone again." Realizing that she was laying there exposed, Richard pulled the blanket up over her and then sat back on the bed, lifting his bloody hands into the air. "She- she- Zedd something is wrong with her."

It took him hours to get through it all, to tell his grandfather everything that had taken place. He stared down at her, watching her sleep as he spoke, finding it comforting to see her relaxed. When he finished telling the story, he looked up to his grandfather for hope. "Please Zedd, you have to do something. This isn't Kahlan."

"No, it's not." Walking to the bed, he laid his hand on her forehead. It was burning and covered with sweat. Her head turned away from his touch, looking toward Richard as thought even with her eyes closed, she could see him. "Has she spoken to you about the dreams?"

"Yes."

"Everything?"

Grabbing her hand, he shook his head. "I thought so, but then she started telling me something before and I- I don't think she told me half of what she saw. Zedd, she didn't want me to know what she saw, but it scared her. Nothing scares her."

"She didn't begin to act this way until she dreamed of your death. That scares her."

Lying down beside her, Richard brushed his fingers through her hair. "Is there something you can do?"

"I cannot say for sure. It will take some time before I am able to determine what is happening. This may not be something that I can fix."

"You have to! Zedd, we can't leave her like this!"

Frowning down at his grandson, he shook his head. "We may not have a choice. If what you're saying is true and she tried to kill her child, the High Council will have her put to death. If she wakes up before I return, do not let her leave the room. We cannot let anyone know what is happening."

"Where are you going?"

Walking to the door, Zedd looked over his shoulder and gave him a small hopeful smile. "We need answers."

The moment the door was closed, Richard pushed himself against her, holding her tightly as he tried to think. He needed to find a way to save her, to save her child, even if she didn't want to. He felt connected to the child within her, he loved it. Resting his hand on top of her stomach, he moved his head beside it. He began to whisper to it, telling her that he and Kahlan loved her and that she would be safe.

"Richard?" He jumped at the sound of her voice. "What happened?"

Looking up at her, he moved away from her stomach and studied her face carefully. "You don't remember?"

"Remember what? When did you get back?" She sat up and looked around the room, confused. "What happened to all of my things?"

"You don't remember?"

Shaking her head, Kahlan tightened her hold on the blankets, realizing that she was naked. "No. The last think I remember was falling asleep in your arms." She suddenly darted her eyes with a gasp, "Richard, I'm-"

"I know. You told me two days ago."

"It's been two days? What happened? Why can't I remember and why are you looking at me like I just tried to kill you."

"You've had a hard few days." Inching to the side of the bed, he wiped his hands on his pants and sighed. "You should rest."

Grabbing his arm, she nearly climbed out of the bed, trying to get him to stay. "Richard, please. What did I do?"

The look he gave her, the pain in his eyes, broke her heart. "You did a lot of things. Kahlan, you should get some sleep. I will tell you what you want to know when you wake up."

"Why am I naked?" She whispered her question, embarrassed.

"You were sick. I didn't want you to lay in it. I asked your handmaiden to do it, I waited outside." Pulling his arm from her hold, he sat down in the chair beside the bed and leaned forward. "You should rest."

Laying her head back on the pillow, she stared over at him. "I did something terrible, didn't I?"

"Yes."

"What did I do?"

Lifting the covers, he shook his head, not wanting to tell her and keep her from resting. "I will tell you when you wake up."

Tears filling her eyes, she grabbed his hand. "Don't let me do it again."

"I won't."

Pulling on his hand, she pulled him from the chair. "Stay with me?"

"I'll be right here."

"No, here... I don't want to- I'm afraid I won't remember again."

She moved over as he crawled back onto the bed, pulling her into his arms as he wrapped the blankets tightly around her. "If you forget, I'll remind you."


	3. Chapter 3

"When did she wake up?" Zedd asked as he laid a damp cloth on the Confessor's forehead.

"Four hours ago. She didn't remember anything, Zedd."

"I didn't think she would. I went to see Fran; she told me that Kahlan didn't say anything when she went to see her. They drank tea in silence." Sitting in the chair, the wizard looked at the sleeping woman. "She didn't want you to go into the room, because she didn't want you to know. Richard, there are only three possible reasons for her actions."

"Can you help her?"

"Only if she wakes up as herself again."

"What did I do?" Kahlan asked in a groggy voice, her eyes opening as she turned toward Richard. "Did I hurt you?"

Sitting up, he looked to his grandfather, silently asking him if he should tell her. "No- Yes, but Kahlan are you sure that you want to know?"

"Yes."

"You tried to kill your daughter."

Horrified, Kahlan jumped up and covered her mouth with her hands, letting the blanket fall to her waist. "What?"

"You stabbed yourself in the dining hall. You wouldn't let us help you. I- I had to hold you down just for Zedd to heal you. Then we brought you back in here and I- I don't know what happened. We were talking, you were yelling at me and then you- I don't know what happened. The knife wound began to bleed and then it was gone again. I don't know how any of it happened."

"Did I- is she all right?"

Richard gave her a small smile, thankful that she asked the question. He now knew that without a doubt, she was the Kahlan he knew. "She's still alive."

"Because you saved her." She looked at Zedd. "Both of you." Returning her eyes to Richard she tilted her head, "Why? Why would you want to save her, she has no ties to you."

"Yes, she does. Kahlan, she may not be my child, but as a part of you, I love her." Hooking a few strands of her hair behind her ear, he brought his face closer to hers. "We saved her because she is a part of you."

She wanted to kiss him, but the look in his eyes scared her. He hadn't told her everything that had happened and she knew that if he didn't tell her by now, she wouldn't find out until she asked him. "What aren't you telling me? I can see it on your face, in your eyes... Did I do something else?"

"No, you didn't. I don't want to pour everything on you at once. It can wait. I don't even know if it is true. You weren't you and-" he sighed, "It can wait."

"Why are you looking at me like that?" she asked quietly, pretending that Richard was the only one in the room with her. "Why are you afraid of me?"

"I'm not afraid of you," he answered softly, bringing his eyes hers. "I'm terrified that the next time you go to sleep, you won't wake up as yourself again."

Forcing a smile, she nodded her head and looked over to Zedd, "I'm tired, do you think it would be all right for me to sleep?"

"I am sure you will be fine. I have sent for a healer and midwife, they will be here before dark. I will return when they arrive." Standing, he gave a small bow and walked quickly out of the room, leaving them alone.

"You don't have to stay anymore."

"Kahlan-"

"If I wake up as someone else, don't let me hurt anyone."

Shaking his head, he tried to lie down beside her, ignoring her hand against his chest, trying to stop him. "If you wake up as someone else, I won't let you hurt anyone, but I am not going to leave you."

"Why? Richard I can see the fear in your eyes. You don't want to be near me."

"I always want to be near you. Kahlan, what happened didn't change anything. Nothing that happens can change the way I feel about you, the way I want to hold you, kiss you. I will always want to be with you, but when I saw you grab that knife, when your eyes lost the light of your life- Kahlan, I had never been so scared before."

"I'm so sorry, Richard." He could barely hear her, the sound of her breath coming louder than her voice as she rolled away from him.

Pressing his chest against her back, he wrapped his arm around her tightly, wanting make sure that she knew he was there, that he wanted to be there. "I'm going to protect you."

Opening his eyes, he saw her sitting in the chair beside the bed, her knees pulled up to her chest. Her arms were wrapped around her legs, holding them to her tightly. He didn't fail to notice that she was still naked. Meeting her eyes, he sat up quickly and sighed.

"You're not Kahlan."

A sly grin came to her face. "I'm not? How can you tell?"

"Your eyes," he answered simply, looking around the room. "They're cold."

"You're wrong."

Shaking his head, he pushed his fingers back, through his hair with a sigh. "I know Kahlan, I know her well and you are not her."

"You only think you know me, but you couldn't possibly. I won't let you." The grin widened across her face as she leaned forward. "I dream about you."

Nodding quickly, he dismissed her words as he tried to think of a way to save her. "I know, my death-"

"Not that kind of dream. " Dropping her legs to the floor, she moved closer to the bed. "I dream about being with you. Feeling your hands over my skin, the taste of your lips... The feel of you above me."

He stared at her, bewildered, as she spoke, moving closer with each word. Fighting to keep his eyes on hers, Richard took in a deep breath. "You're not Kahlan."

"And if I'm not. It doesn't change anything. Isn't that what you said? Nothing that happens will change the way you feel for me." Pushing her hand against his chest, she pushed him down onto the bed and moved over him. "Do you not have the same dreams?" she questioned innocently, lifting his shirt and running her hands over his chest. "I want to be with you. I want to feel your skin against mine and-"

"You're not Kahlan."

"What does that have to do with anything? You want this body do you not?" Taking his hand, she pressed it against her, laying it over one of her breasts as she pushed into it. "You want to be with her just as much as she craves you. Did she tell you what she did with him? Her mate." she laughed, leaning her face down closer to his. "She tried to imagine you, tried to keep herself from crying, but she couldn't. She was too weak. She somehow couldn't imagine you being so rough." She laughed once again, this time sitting up over him. "See?"

His eyes fell to her chest and stomach, looking to where she pointed. She was covered in bruises, scratches and bite marks. His breath escaped him as he trailed his fingers along a set of scratches on her side. "Kahlan," he whispered her name, hoping that somehow she would know how hurt he was for her.

"He had to tie her to the bed because she couldn't stop pushing him away. She wanted you. She wants you now. Can you feel it?" Shifting her body over him, she let out a long moan as she began digging her fingers into his chest. "You can both have what you want. Right now. You can make her forget about everything. The dreams, the child and the searing pain she feels when she looks at you." A grin came to her lips, "It's not always pain. Her body begs for yours. It heats at the very thought." Her lips were close to his, they shared their breath as she spoke. "Take me."

Colliding their lips, she grabbed his face and pushed her fingers into his hair, releasing a soft moan as he returned her kiss. He could never deny Kahlan anything. The feel of her above him, pressing him into the mattress as she pulled at the laces of his pants, it was all different. Her kiss was too much; rolling over onto her, Richard grabbed her arms and held her down to the bed. "Stop it!" he shouted as she pushed her knee between his legs, a laugh leaving her at his reaction. "What do you want?"

"I want what you want." She moved quickly, grabbing his pants and pulling them down his legs until she could go no farther. "Take what I give you."

"I will not hurt her."

Laughing she fell back onto the bed, "Do you really think that it will hurt her? She wants you more than she has wanted anything. I know her thoughts, I see them all. I feel what she feels." Taking his hand, she ran it over herself, moving lower and lower until he pulled it free of her hold. "Feel her. She wants you."

"Kahlan, please," he whispered her name like a prayer, meant only to be heard by her. "Come back to me."

"She's here. She's screaming for me to stop. She's so afraid to hurt you. Show her how wrong she is. She won't hurt you, will she? You want to take her. You want to feel her surrounding you, speaking your name in gasps as the sweat of your bodies mix together. Take her."

"No. If I was to touch her, it would hurt her."

"You've already touched her. Don't you remember?" Her grin widened. "Of course you do. I saw the delight in your eyes. You will never forget the way her breast felt in your hand."

"Why do you want to kill her child? Because of the dreams?" he needed to change the subject, needed to understand why it was all happening.

"The dreams are not real. I only needed to weaken the Mother Confessor enough to allow me in. I didn't think it was possible at first, but then I realized what would break her. I worked hard on getting your death right. It had to be cruel, she needed to watch and feel the pain. One night and I was granted access. She was so upset, I walked right in." She beamed with pride, a look he had never seen Kahlan wear. "To destroy a kingdom, one must destroy the leader." Her laugh frightened him, "It was easier than we thought. She would kill the child, they would kill her and therefore condemn themselves to death by your sword. No one would hold claim to Aydindril."

"How could you do this to her?"

"This?" She motioned to her naked body, lying before him with a smile. "Simple pleasures. I could not resist."

Suddenly confused, Richard tilted his head and leaned forward. "Why are you telling me this? You have to know that I will not allow you to harm the child."

"I took care of the child two hours ago while you slept." Her smile widened, "I went out and drank a very efficient potion. The child is dead."

Horrified, he pushed her shoulders into the bed, being sure not to hurt her. "What? How?"

"I am not in this palace alone. Many gave up their loyalty to the Mother Confessor, once they learned of her feelings for you. She is weak."

"You don't know what you're talking about. Kahlan is the strongest person I have ever known."

"Then she will die that way."

Crawling off of the bed, Richard tried to breathe, tried to remain calm as he looked at her, pulling his pants back to his waist. "If you have done what you claim, leave her body. Leave her now!"

"Why? I like it here. I like this body and as long as I am inside of it, you're not going to leave me." Sitting up, she grabbed the top of his pants and pulled him to her. "You won't stop me, because you don't want to hurt her."

"If I don't stop you, I will hurt her."

Shaking her head, she lifted his shirt and pressed her lips against his stomach. "You won't hurt her." She continued to kiss him, moving higher and higher, lifting his shirt until he had to remove it.

His eyes slid closed to the soft feeling of her tongue sliding along his skin, tasting him. Without thought, his fingers moved into her hair, gently messaging her scalp as she continued. After a few moments, he pulled her closer, raising her from his chest to his lips. The kiss was soft, gentle and more like Kahlan's than before, he almost forgot that it wasn't her. Pulling her hair, he broke their kiss, but kept his lips brushing hers to keep her from seeing what he was doing. "Lay back."

She nearly protested, wanting to be sure she was in control, but feeling him untie his pants between them made her believe he was going to do as she wanted. Lying back, she stared up at him in anticipation as he leaned forward and began to kiss her stomach. Lifting her back from the bed, she pushed his head harder to her. Releasing a soft moan, Kahlan closed her eyes, allowing herself to soak in the feeling alone. Running his hands along her side, he moved them up to her hands, grasping them tightly as he brought his lips to hers.

"I love you, Kahlan."

Rolling her eyes, she sighed. "You don't have to talk. I'm still going to make you feel good."

"I wasn't talking to you," he whispered, lowering his head. His lips were beside her ear, warming it with his breath as he played with her hands. "I'm so sorry." She jumped, hitting her head against the headboard as Richard moved back. Her hands were tied above her head to the headboard, surprising her. "I'm sorry Kahlan, I know how much it hurts you, but I couldn't-"

"Untie me!" she shouted in anger. "Untie me or I'll kill her!"

"No, you won't. If you did, the High Council will have you killed, your entire plan crumbles. I will allow you to leave unharmed, but only if you leave now and never come back."

"You won't be able to save her. She will die before the week ends. The Council will have no choice but to remove her head for treason. She has murdered their heir." With a wide grin, she closed her eyes.

Seconds later, her body began to shake and glow, capturing his attention as she always did. It lasted longer than he thought it would, sitting over her, he leaned forward and began to untie her hands. He froze the moment he felt her eyes on him, fearing the thoughts that were in her head.

"I was gone again, wasn't I?" He nodded, quickly untying her hands and moving off of her. "Please tell me that it was a dream."

"What?"

"Everything," she answered in a whisper. "I didn't want to do it. I couldn't stop her, I couldn't- Spirits, our child!"

His heart leaped at her words as he pulled her into his arms. Her tears streamed down his chest, her fingers digging into his back as she tried to get him closer. She needed him closer. "It's going to be all right, Kahlan. I promise."

"I killed her, how can that be all right?"

Pulling back, he cupped her face on his hands and gave her a small smile. "You didn't kill her. I wasn't sure if you would wake up differently again, so while you were sleeping I went to Zedd and we- we made her believe that she had succeeded in her mission. She never left the room. Never poisoned the child. You are still pregnant."

Releasing a soft gasp of surprise, she stared into his eyes. "What?"

"I promised you that you wouldn't hurt anyone and after you went to sleep, I finally thought of a way that could help you. Kahlan, when I realized that she wouldn't stop until the child was dead, I- couldn't let it happen, so I asked Zedd if there was any way that we could protect you and we- Everything that she thought happened, didn't. She walked around this room, thinking she was going to get the poison. She didn't harm the child."

She kissed him, hard, her mind flooding with relief and safety. "Thank you!" she half whispered, half cried as she circled her arms around his neck. "Spirits, thank you!"

"How are you feeling?"

A small smile came to her lips as she shifted her body. "Nauseous."

"Here, lay back. I'll go get Zedd."

Grabbing his arm, Kahlan pulled him back to her and held him tightly. "No, please stay."

"I'll be right back," he said softly, bringing the back of his hand to her cheek. "I want to make sure everything is all right."

"How do you know that I'm me?"

Smiling, he sat down onto the side of the bed. "The same way I knew it wasn't you before. Your eyes."

"How can you tell?"

Brushing his thumb across her cheek, he wiped her tears. "Because they're filled with life, love... Kindness. Everything that makes you, you. I can see it all in your eyes and I know without a doubt that you are you." Letting out a quiet sigh, he shook his head and looked down to the floor. "I should have noticed at first, but I-"

"You did. I can remember your face now. The way you looked at me. You knew that something was wrong from the beginning." She smiled, grabbing his hand tightly in hers. "You knew."

"I knew that you would never want to hurt your child. I knew that you wouldn't want to go see Fran alone, that you wouldn't want to go through it alone, but then I thought that maybe you didn't want me there because I'm not..." he couldn't bring himself to say that he wasn't the father because he felt like he was.

"You may not have helped me conceive her, but you will be her father... If you want to be."

"Why would you want me?" he questioned softly, his brain needing an answer.

"Because I love you. Because there is no one better, no one I trust more. There is only you."

"What about him?"

She sighed, unsure if any answer she gave would satisfy him. "He is no more than my mate." She swallowed hard the moment the last word left her lips, making her feel cold and dry as she looked into the eyes of the man that she loved. "I will never care for him the way that I care for you. He-"

"Hurt you."

Images flashed through her mind as she remembered what had happened, remembered sitting over him, naked and showing him what was done to her. Her cheeks burned with embarrassment and shame for a moment, before he gently lifted her chin. "He had to. I couldn't go through with it. He uh, I told him to tie me to the bed. I couldn't stand the feel of his hands on me, it made me sick. I kept pushing him away- He didn't" she looked to the sheets, unable to keep her eyes on his while she spoke, her heart pounding loudly in her ears, screaming at her for telling him the truth, for being vulnerable. "He didn't hesitate to do as I commanded. Seconds passed as I could barely breathe. I just wanted to be over, but he- he begged me to allow him to- he wanted to be with me like he had been with all of his other women and I- I don't understand how anyone could go through that."

"You did."

Meeting his eyes, she blinked through the ears. "I was sick for hours. I couldn't forget what it felt like, I couldn't make it feel all right."

"Because it wasn't," Richard told her tenderly, pulling her into his arms. "Kahlan, nothing about it was all right. You were hurt and you- Being with anyone else but me is not all right." She laughed lightly into his chest, at last returning his hug. "I promise you that I will find a way to make it better."

"You already have." Pulling back, she stared at him in revelation. "Richard, did you speak to Fran?"

"Zedd went to see her; she said that you never said anything when you were with her."

"She's lying. Richard, she knew everything. Spirits," covering her mouth, she crawled out of the bed and rushed to her wardrobe, not caring that his eyes followed her. "It was her. She must pay!"

Grabbing her shoulders, Richard turned her around, preventing her from dressing herself. "What do you mean?"

"I remember everything now. She gave me something when I went to see her the first time, right after I... She was my friend. I trusted her and she betrayed me!" Her body shook in anger, even as he pulled her to him, trying to calm and comfort her. "She betrayed me."

"I will take care of it. I don't want anything to happen to you. I will get Zedd and we will take her to the High Council. She will be punished."

Shaking her head against his chest, Kahlan dug her nails into his back. "You cannot take her unless we have proof the child is still alive. One word from her and... They will not trust Zedd's word. He is too close to me. We cannot say anything until the child grows and it shows that I am carrying a living child."

"They won't trust you?" he asked, running his fingers through her hair.

"I would be the last they would trust. They do not trust me now, why would they trust me in something as important as this. They would never believe me over Fran. When I brought her in, when I told them she could be trusted, they tested her in ways, one should never- they trust her fully and it's because of me."

Pulling back, he handed her her dress and turned around, not moving an inch from her. "How did you know her?"

"She was the daughter of one of the men I had confessed in our dungeons. He begged me to look out for her, to help her live without him. I was only fifteen; she was eleven. I took her along with me for days, getting to know her so I would know where to put her. She has a gift, she could sense a child within its mother, she could make you understand dreams and I knew she was special. I brought her to Ann, she wasn't the head of the council yet, but I knew she would be. She took her in, raised her with her own children. I thought of her as a friend."

Touching his back, she let him know that it was all right to turn around. "I never thought that she would betray me. At first, after I confessed her father, I read her, Richard I- she fooled me. All these years, she's been against me."

"You can't blame yourself. You couldn't know that she was-"

Brushing her hair over her shoulder, she shook her head. "I should have known. I'm a Confessor; it's my responsibility to know."

"It's not your fault, Kahlan. She had to have fooled everyone."

Meeting his eyes, she walked to him, stopping directly in front of him. "You're right. We need to talk to Ann."

"No. Kahlan, if she's working with Fran, she will know everything. She will hurt you. We need to find someone who will be on our side." He looked around the room, making her smile, knowing that he was making sure she was safe. "We can't just go in there alone. We need an army. Something that will make a difference, make them listen and keep you safe."

Resting her hands on his chest, she grabbed his shirt and pulled him to her. "You're going to be there. What more do I need?"

"You need more than me," he breathed out heavily. Her breath was mixing with his, her mouth a kiss away from his. He fought the urge to connect their lips, to kiss her as he longed to, but he didn't. "You need protection."

"No, I don't. Not with you." His heart leaped as she pressed her lips to his lightly, kissing him gently. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have-"

He cut her off with a kiss. He didn't have anything to say.


	4. Chapter 4

Standing in front of her, he pushed her into the wall with his chest, running his hand up and down her arm as they waited. "How long do you think it will last?"

"Getting tired of guarding me?" she teased softly, grabbing his waist and pulling him closer. "They will be out in a few minutes. Ann never sits in a meeting through lunch."

"No, I'm not getting tired of guarding you. It's just getting hard standing here, when I am unable to kiss you."

Grinning, she turned her head and looked down the hall, trying to keep herself from being the one to kiss him. "I don't mind if you kiss me." Returning her gaze to his, she released his shirt and sighed. "We shouldn't do this. It's never going to end well."

"What? Kahlan, I know that you don't think that it's a good idea, but it is. It's not wrong for us to be together, for us to want this."

"Then why are you looking at me like this?" she sighed, pushing her hair behind her ear. "You say that you want to kiss me, but you won't because you know that it's all we can do. It's all that I can give you."

Pushing himself against her, he kissed her, hard and full of passion, holding her to the wall as his hands moved over her. She kissed him back just as hard, wrapping her arms around him tightly as she pushed herself into him with a deep moan. "Kissing you is all I need," he breathed out as he pressed his forehead against hers, giving them both a moment to catch their breaths.

"Someone's coming," she said softly, looking back down the hallway. "What are you going to do?"

"Protect you. If Ann is working with Fran, then we have to get every other member of the council on our side. We need one person to keep you alive until they can see, until they know the truth. I'm not going to let them hurt you."

"Then, let's go. They don't know anything yet. We can just- we can be happy for a little while," she said into his ear, wanting him to come back to the room with her. She knew what would happen if he spoke to any of the council. She wanted a few more moments in happiness. "You can talk to them tomorrow."

"Is that what you really want? Do you want to hide in your room until they come for you?"

"If I'm with you, yes. Richard, the moment you say something to one of them, they will turn on you. Do you remember when we first got here and you said that you wanted to stay? Do you remember what they told you?"

"They said that I didn't belong here."

"Yes, but you and I knew better. You wanted to be here, so you belong and I wanted you to be here, so they allowed you to stay."

"If I spoke to them, they would make me leave?"

She nodded slowly, swallowing the lump in her throat. "If you told them anything, they would do anything to make sure you couldn't help me. Making you leave is not something they would settle for. Please, let's go back."

"I can't sit there and wait for them. I'm not going to let them win and if we leave now, they will." Caressing her cheeks with his thumbs, he kissed her quickly and stepped back. "You will be safe, I promise."

Just as she was about to beg him not to, he turned and walked down the hallway, meeting three members of the council. She heard nothing as she watched them look over his shoulder at her, each shaking their heads in disbelief as he explained what had happened. Looking away, she walked to the window across from her and stared out, imagining the feel of the sun against her face and the light breeze pushing past her. Taking in a deep breath, she smelled the kitchen, strongly, making her sick for a moment until she began to breathe through her mouth. Touching her hand to the window, she was surprised by the coolness of the glass as the sun shined down upon it. Looking back to Richard, she sighed at his frustration as she watched him push his fingers through his hair, the way that he did when he was nervous or upset. A part of her wanted to go to him, to take him away from his problems, but she was his problem.

Without looking back, she turned on her heels and rushed down the hall, her white dress flowing freely behind her. She walked without thought and without hesitation. There was no doubt where she was going. Stopping at the door, the Confessor clenched her fists in anger, her body heating as she tried to stop herself. Once she entered the room, there would be no going back. She needed to decide, in a single moment, everything she held dear could be taken away from her. Taking hold if the handle she pushed the door open.

Their eyes locked instantly, Kahlan began to feel tears as she walked toward her friend. "I've failed them all, Fran. I was given a simple task and I- I can no longer feel the child within me. I will be dead before daybreak tomorrow. You must promise me something, before I go, I must know if you will protect him."

Stretching her arms out, Fran pulled Kahlan into her arms and hugged her. "I will do everything that I can to make sure he is all right."

She thought she might vomit, hearing the woman she thought was her friend lie about the man she loved made her sicker than she thought possible. "Thank you. You are a dear friend." Pulling back, she pushed the other woman's hair over her shoulder. "I always adored your blonde hair. It's beautiful."

"When did you tell them?"

"I haven't. I will as soon as I leave here. I couldn't go in there without knowing if Richard would be safe."

Nodding, the blonde smiled warmly and grabbed her friend's hand. "I understand. It must be painful for you to do this."

"You have no idea. Would you come with me? I don't want to do it alone."

Confused, Fran shook her head. "What about him? Wouldn't you want him with you?"

"No. I can't have him see me like that. He shouldn't have to watch me die." Turning around, Kahlan fought back the anger, the pain and the urge to murder the woman standing so close behind her. "I can't do this with him."

Grabbing her arm, she turned the Confessor around to face her, a small smile on her lips. "Does this mean that you and he will spend the day together? You can make love to him now and he will be freed when they... You have the opportunity you have always wanted."

"Confessing the man that I love is not what I wanted. I will die the way I have always known that I would. Cold and alone."

"I will be there with you. You will not be alone, but please think about what I said and take the opportunity to be with him. You deserve that much."

Shaking her head, Kahlan pushed back the rush of nausea that flooded through her. "I do not have the time. I go to them after I leave you."

"No, go to your room, take him with you and make the most of the time you have left. Make you both happy."

"I'm afraid. Being with Richard, making love to him, it would destroy him. It would take away everything that I love about him, it would take him away." Walking to the door, she looked back to her friend and gave her a sad smile. "Do you really believe that I should?"

Moving closer to her, the blonde nodded with a smile. "Nothing would make your last hours more wonderful. You've spoken about him since your return, you love him. Allow yourself the small comfort of his love for you."

"All right. If you see him, will you send him to my room?"

"I would be happy to." She replied softly, opening the door for her friend. "Go, I will go and find him now."

Hugging her tightly, Kahlan beamed. "Thank you. I don't know what I would do if I didn't have you."

"Go, have fun."

The moment the door closed behind her, Kahlan took off in a half run, falling to her knees in tears the moment she rounded the first corner. Leaning over, she covered her face in her hands and screamed. Arms were around her before she knew it, holding her tightly. She didn't have to look to know who it was. Turning around, she pulled him closer to her and brought her lips to his ear. "She's going to be looking for you." Using him to help herself up, she quickly wiped her tears and stepped backward. "She can't find us together."

"Kahlan, what happened? Why did you go in there?"

"I was going to kill her," she answered softly, looking around to be sure they were alone. "She will be looking for you. She believes I will confess you tonight. Then she will have you killed."

"You told her that you were going to go to the council didn't you?" he whispered, grabbing her face in his hands. "Why would you do that? Kahlan, the council members that I spoke with, they are willing to wait, to have it confirmed."

"No they aren't. Richard, when I went in there to see her, she didn't hesitate when I told her that I would be dead by daybreak. She already spoke with them."

"That's not possible, Kahlan they had no idea what I was talking about. They were surprised that you were carrying a child." She stared up at him, waiting for him to continue, for him to explain, but he didn't. "Kahlan, they're not going to kill you."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because I told them they would not live long enough to reach your door." Taking her hand, he began to walk down the hall, leading her back to her room, where he was sure that she would be safe. "Why would she think that you would confess me?"

"She said that since it was my last night, I should... She thought that it would be a good way to spend my last night."

Tightening his hand around hers, he pulled her closer. "She has a point. If it were my last night, I couldn't imagine anything better than being with you."

"You would be destroyed."

He grinned widely. "I wouldn't care. It would be the greatest night of my life if I was only allowed to hold you."

Turning her head, she caught his eye, "There's a Rada'Han inside my second dresser."

"No," he said quickly, instantly dismissing the idea. "If you wore it, you would be hiding a part of you, a part of you that makes you who you are. If I were to be with you while you wore one, I would be making love to a part of you. I don't want just a part of you. I want all of you."

Stopping, she turned in his arms and looked into his eyes, seeing the truth. "Why?"

"Because I love you. You. Not a part of you, all of you." He spoke softly, whispering so that only she would hear him. "Kahlan, I know that there may never be a way for me to tell you how much I love you, but I don't ever want you to wonder why. Everything about you is the reason I love you. I could never find words to explain it to you, but I do love you."

"I know, but I- I don't understand how. You should be terrified of me. You shouldn't want to be near me, but you do, you never look at me in fear of your life, but you should. Especially now."

Grinning widely, he looked over her. "Why?"

"Because I want to do it."

"Do it."

Walking away from him, she shook her head, sighing at his ability to make the situation seem so easy. He believed that the idea of her confessing him was as simple as deciding what he wanted for breakfast. That was what she could never understand. "I would never hurt you."

"I know," he told her tenderly, moving to walk beside her. Taking her hand in his once again, he grinned. "Kahlan if you wanted to, if you want to, I would understand. I would not try to stop you."

Turning, she pushed him back against the wall, laying her hand on his throat as she locked her eyes on his. She stared at him, reading him carefully, waiting for a moment of fear to reach him. Nothing. Releasing him, she shook her head as he frowned, disappointed that she had let him go. "I could have destroyed you."

They were close to her bedroom door, his heart pounding from being so close. "No, you would have brought me to life." Stepping closer to her, he closed the small distance between them and kissed her.

For a moment, he was almost certain that he could feel her heart beat through their kiss, matching his with its intensity. He inched them slowly to her room, making sure their lips never parted. She pulled at his hair, wanting him closer as her back slid against the wall. They tripped over their own feet, both too caught up in the taste of the other's lips and the feel of their hands moving dangerously over their bodies. Pushing her through the door, Richard lifted her into his arms, struggling with her dress as he tried to wrap her legs around him. Bringing her to the bed, he gently laid her down, moving over her as his lips left hers.

She gasped for air, pushing her head back into the mattress as he began to kiss her neck. Running his hands over her body, he pushed himself down against her, drawing out a deep, long moan from within her. Grabbing the laces of her dress, he pulled them loose, exposing more skin to his lips as he attempted to kiss down her body. She wasn't wearing her corset, making it even more difficult for him to remain calm as more and more of her was revealed to him. Pulling at his shirt, she felt the fabric rip from the force just as he lifted his head from her, allowing it to be freed of him.

Bringing his lips back to hers, he moaned as his chest pressed against hers. The feeling of her fingers touching his back, pulling him close to her was almost too much for him. He had never expected to feel any of this, feel her against him, hear her pant his name as she pushed herself into him. He couldn't believe they had waited so long. His mind began to fill with images, making his heart pound faster as he broke their kiss and looked into her eyes. A sigh of relief left him as he saw that it was still her, still the woman he loved.

Bringing both hands to cup her face, he leaned forward, their noses lightly touching as he stroked his thumbs across her skin. "I love you, Kahlan." The words left his lips in a soft whisper, making her body melt beneath him as he stared into her eyes.

Moving her hands from his back, she held onto his sides and smiled. She knew what he was doing, why he had stopped and it made her love him even more. "You know that I love you too, but I- we can't..."

Nodding his head knowingly, he rolled onto his side, next to her, leaving his right arm draped over her. "What do we do now?"

Turning her head, she gave him a sad smile, laying her hand over his. "We wait. Once they believe we are unable to defend ourselves, they will come."

"Release your magic. They will assume that we have... And then, what better timing could there be?"

Her smile widened as she rolled over to face him. "I'm not sure it would be so quick. They may suspect something," she said teasingly as she raised an eyebrow. "We should wait a little while longer." Sitting up, Kahlan surprised him by removing her dress, not once looking over to him, though he was sure she knew he was watching. "Well," she said with a laugh as she motioned to his pants.

"What are you doing?"

"Trust me?" she asked as she pulled the blankets up over her. "I won't look."

"No," he said quickly, stopping her from turning away as he grabbed her arm. "It's all right, I don't mind." She hesitated to look back to him, her mind spinning at the thought. "Kahlan really, it's all right."

He didn't wait for her to look, instantly; he began to untie his pants, keeping his eyes on her as he worked. It took him a short while longer to remove them, his fingers finding it difficult to stop shaking long enough to do anything. He paused just as he finished with the laces, waiting to be sure if she really wanted him to continue. Finding herself filled with confidence, Kahlan turned around to face him. Slowly, she pushed back his hands and grabbed the top of his pants. He gave a light gasp as she gently pulled the fabric from his hips.

Her eyes were on his, unable to tear them away and look anywhere else. The moment his pants hit the floor, he pulled her onto him and held her tightly. Her head rested under his chin; her arms laying at his side, pressed against him for safety. She listened to the beating of his heart, the sound of his life beneath her. It was comforting. Closing her eyes, she found herself almost completely gone in his arms, having never felt this comforted and safe. The knowledge that they were both naked should have her worried, frightened or upset, but she didn't feel any of those things.

Lifting her head, she looked down at him, all sounds other than his breathing and the pounding of her heart disappeared. She could feel him against her, making it harder for her to breathe as she shifted her body above him. His eyes closed with her movement, his lips parting for air as he tried to keep from moving. The moment she started to run her hands over his chest, he grabbed her arms and held her still, her name leaving his lips with a heavy gasp. "You should stop."

Moving his hands lower, she lowered her lips to his. "I don't want to." She kissed him, wildly, slowing the speed of her hands. "I can give you this."

Pushing her off of him, he laid her down onto her back and leaned over her. "I don't want this, I want you."

"But I can't give you me."

He smiled a sad smile, his body still aching for hers as he looked down at her. "Let's just lay here and be together."

"If I die tonight, I don't want- I don't want you to wonder if I wanted- if I loved you."

"I know that you love me, Kahlan. I will never wonder about that. If you didn't, you wouldn't be willing to sacrifice yourself to save me." The look of surprise didn't stop him. "I know that you went to Fran as insurance. You went there to make sure that I would be all right. You knew how much it would hurt you, but you went anyway. I have no doubt that you love me." Lying down beside her, he rested his chin on her shoulder and took in a deep breath. "This, right here, this is our love."

"But you could have so much more."

"No, I can't. This is everything."

Laying her hand on his arm, she pulled him onto her, making him look into her eyes as she ran her hand over his chest. "But I want to give you more. I want to please- I want to make you happy."

His eyes closed as she lowered her hand, reaching for him. "Kahlan, if you do this, I won't be able to control myself. I can't be like this with you and not want to-"

"It's all right, I won't let anything happen."

He stared at her, giving her a moment to think about what she had just said, when she didn't continue or change her mind, he lost it. Pressing his lips to hers, he lowered his chest against hers, leaving room for her hand to move between them. The moment she touched him, he broke their kiss with a gasp, his right hand moving to cup her breast, hoping that it would be something for her. She moaned his name, grabbing his hand with her other hand, she held him to her, pushing up into his touch. He couldn't wait another moment, grabbing both of her hands, he held them to the bed as he kissed her. Their bodies pushed against each other, desperately trying to get closer.

Wrapping his arms around her, he lifted her from the bed, repositioning them both. She pushed her fingers over his neck and into the back of his hair, drawing his face closer as her legs wrapped around him. Their kiss heated with every second, finding it more difficult for them to catch their breath. With a gasp, he pulled back and brought his lips to her neck, kissing, sucking and licking every inch he could reach without pulling any farther away.

Her hand snaked between them, taking hold of him as their lips reconnected. After a few moments he grabbed her hand and pulled it from him, laying her back to the bed as he moved over her. Without thought he pushed into her, bringing out a loud cry of pleasure from her as her fingernails scraped across his shoulders and back. Continuing to move above her, her covered her chest with his hands as their lips danced on fire. Her mind nearly exploded at the sensations within her, her body on the edge of release. "Richard!" she cried out as a warning, letting him know that her magic was rising within her.

Dropping his head in the crook of her neck, he panted her name through his release, clinging to her as though he was afraid that she wouldn't be there when he looked up. He rolled off of her almost an instant later, wanting to make sure that he didn't upset her by remaining in place. Sitting up, she let it go, her magic ripping through the air, the sight of it taking his breath away. Falling back beside him, she struggled to find her breath, to keep her eyes open and look at him. It had been perfect.

Rolling onto her side, she pushed herself against him, wrapping her arm around his shoulder to hold him close as she took in what had happened. Tears collected in her eyes as she replayed it all in her mind, her body shaking from its passionate release. He held her tightly, knowing that after what they had done, he may never have the opportunity again. Whispering softly, he began to tell her how much he loved her and how amazing their time had been, needing her to know.

Pulling back, she reached up to his face, gently laying her hand against his cheek as she smiled warmly. "I never knew anything could feel like that."

"Me neither. That was phenomenal; I didn't want it to end."

Nodding she felt her cheeks grow red as she noticed the way he looked at her, hungry for more. "Me neither. I almost didn't stop you."

Pulling her back into his arms, Richard began running his fingers through her hair, calming both of their pounding hearts. "It was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. When you released your magic, Kahlan, it was beautiful. I wanted to touch you, hold you in my arms- I felt like it was a part of us both."

"I felt it too." She smiled against his chest, remembering the way it felt when the magic left her. "It was powerful. I wasn't sure if I could keep my eyes open."

"Want to do it again?" he asked, making her laugh.

The door opened as Kahlan began to answer, stopping her before anything left her lips. Turning to the door, they watched a group of four guards rush in after the head of the council, Ann. "Now you have confessed the Seeker? Was it not enough that you killed your own child?"

Kahlan said nothing, as the guards rushed to the bed and took hold of her. Watching in confusion, Richard shouted for them to let her go, that she hadn't confessed him, but they didn't listen.


	5. Chapter 5

She jumped at the sound of the cell door opening, afraid that they had arrived to the conclusion of her punishment. She was showing now, there could be no denying that she carried a child within her, but the past seven months, she had seen no one other than the shadow of whoever brought her the food. Moving to the bars on the wall, she looked out, straining her eyes to see who it was as she pushed past the pain of the bars hitting the Rada'Han around her neck. Her heart pounded as the footsteps came closer, moving in almost a stealth mode. She knew who it was.

"Richard?" she called out in a whisper, "Over here," Reaching out, she grabbed his hand as he knelt down on the other side. "How did you get in here?"

"I waited for the guard to eat the soup Zedd made. He will be asleep for an hour. Kahlan, I'm going to get you out of here. I have everything ready."

Shaking her head, she pulled back her hand and grabbed the bars. "You can't. Richard, I've been in here for months and they have not seen me. They do not care; I will remain in here until they decide to kill me."

"You're right. That's why I am getting you out of here. I have a place set up for you. You can give birth and then we can come back here and we can take back your home."

Touching his cheek, she gave him a sad smile. "I don't see a way for us to do anything. If I leave, they will hunt me down; they will kill you, Zedd and this child." She shook her head and took her hand from his cheek and laid it on her growing stomach. "I can't lose her."

"I'm not going to let that happen. I'm sorry that it has taken me this long, but I've thought everything through and you both will be safe."

"Where are we going?"

He smiled, easing her worry. "You'll come?"

"I would be foolish not to. Where?"

"There is a small house on the other side of that place that we stopped at on the way here. I remembered how much you liked it, so I bought it. We leave tomorrow after dark. The council will be meeting all night, we will not be seen."

"You bought it? Richard, that must have cost you-"

"It was worth it. You will be safe there. "

Quickly, she grabbed his face and pulled it to her, kissing him the best she could with the bars between them. For the first time in months, she didn't feel like she was in prison. Breaking their kiss, Richard smiled widely as he moved a few strands of her hair back behind her ear, showing more of her face. "You should go. The guards will be awake soon and I don't want them to find you."

"I'll be back for you tomorrow right after they bring your dinner." He stood up, a smile still on his face as he looked down at her. "I'll find the key for the Rada'Han too."

"Go."

Looking into the room, Richard lost his breath as he saw Kahlan lying on their bed, their daughter sleeping on her stomach. He walked in quietly, not wanting to wake either of them up as he changed his clothes. He had spent the past few days and most of the afternoon outside, building something that he wished he didn't need to make for the most important peerson in his life. He was surprised to find Kahlan asleep; she hadn't been able to keep her eyes closed when he wasn't with her, holding her. She seemed to be constantly afraid that the moment she closed her eyes, he and their daughter would be taken away and she would be killed. Looking to her face, he noticed a smile on her lips, proving that she wasn't asleep.

"Did I wake you?" he whispered as she looked over at him. She stared at him for a few moments, her eyes running over his bare chest as he walked to the bed. Grabbing a clean shirt off of the chair beside him, he knelt down beside the bed and kissed her as he had done every day for the past year. "Are you all right?"

Nodding, she shifted her body so that she could reach out and touch him without disturbing their daughter. "I'm fine. I just had the dream again."

"Anything different?"

"No, I don't know. I-" she sighed in frustration and looked up to the ceiling. "I think they're trying to find me."

"They won't. Zedd used every method of protection to ensure that you could not be found. We're safe here, I promise."

Giving him a small smile, she returned her eyes to him. "I know, but I can't help but worry."

"What can I do?"

Her smile widened, "Put Grace into her bed, then lay here with me?"

"I can do that." He lifted the small baby into his arms, and walked slowly to the other side of the bed, the side that Kahlan usually slept on. The child slept through the movement, allowing him to lay her down without a sound. Instantly, he crawled into the bed and pulled her into his arms. "You're freezing."

"I'm fine," she lied as he pulled the blankets up around them. "I think I forgot to close the window."

"You didn't." He knew that she was lying, that she didn't want him to worry about her, but he didn't push her. She would tell him when she was ready and not before. "How long do you want to remain here?"

"Forever." She wrapped her arms around him, moving in closer for more warmth. "But you want to go back, don't you?"

"I want you to be where you belong. I feel like you're settling for this life, that you can have so much more if you were back in Aydindril."

"If we returned, blood would be spilled, maybe yours, mine... Grace's. I don't want to lose either of you."

"What if I told you that you weren't going to lose us? Kahlan, I think I've figured out a way back."

"How?"

"You're not going to like it. I don't like it either, but I-"

"You're scaring me," she whispered as she looked up at him, pulling back just enough for their eyes to meet.

"If they believe that you're dead, they will not look for you. Kahlan, we're going to be escorted right through the front gates."

"How?"

He pulled her back against him, wanting to buy himself some time before he told her the full extent of his plan. "Get some rest and then I will explain."

"This is your plan?" Kahlan asked as she walked around the beautifully crafted casket. It was stunning, something she would have been proud to be buried in. The detail was extraordinary, stealing her attention as she ran her fingers over the smooth wood. She wondered how he had managed to make it so quickly, but she didn't ask.

Stepping beside her, he grew anxious as she studied his work. "What do you think?"

"It's perfect. I didn't know you could do all this." Her fingers continued to trace along the carvings, a smile coming to her face. "This is beautiful."

"It's not worthy of what we're using it for."

Turning to face him, she grinned. "Yes it is."

Their daughter wiggled in Richard's arms, pulling at his shirt as she stared at her mother. "I think she wants you." Handing Grace to her mother, he smiled widely. "She's probably hungry."

Taking her into her arms, Kahlan beamed as Grace looked up at her with her deep brown eyes. They sometimes reminded her of Richard's, the way they would hold her attention and make her heart stop, she had forgotten that he wasn't the one who helped her conceive. "We should go inside. I'll feed her before we start dinner." Walking back to the house, she looked over her shoulder, meeting his eyes with a mischievous smile. "Are you coming?"

"I wouldn't miss it."

He wrapped his arm around her waist as they started back to the house, leaving the casket in the middle of the vegetable garden that covered the front of their house. He had grown to love the life they had here, simple and pleasant, always having everything they needed and never wanting anything. A part of him feared that once they returned and retook her home, everything about their life, this life, would end. If he couldn't wake up with her in his arms or hear their daughter's laugh, it would be the death of him.

His mind began to wander as they entered the house. Kahlan moved to the large rocking chair that he had made before she had given birth. It was one of the few places Grace would allow herself to be fed without struggling to look around. It must have comforted her before.

Looking over to the door to their room, he smiled as he remembered the way he felt when she stood in the doorway, arms stretched out for him and hunger in her eyes. She had kept the Rada'Han, despite his objection, but he didn't regret one moment of their time together. Even pregnant, he couldn't take his eyes off of her and he made sure that she knew, especially when she didn't want to.

He nearly jumped when she whispered his name, pulling him from his thoughts. "I'm sorry, I was thinking."

She smiled, "About what?"

"The first night we spent together." Looking back to the door, he laughed. "You stood there, looking at me like that and I couldn't make myself move. You stood there, naked and I couldn't breathe."

Holding back most of her laugh, Kahlan brought her eyes back to him. "The roof fell through with the rain."

He was closer to her now, his stomach pressing against the side of the chair as he brought his lips dangerously close to hers. "That didn't stop us."

"Nothing could," she said softly, cheeks growing red as she watched his eyes fall upon the child feeding in her arms. "Richard," she said heavily, her body heating in need as she stared at him.

He smiled knowingly, slowly turning his head toward her. In an instant her lips were upon his, kissing him passionately. He reached for her, grabbing her face and pulling her to him. He wanted to touch more of her, run his hands over her body, but the child in her arms made it more difficult. She grabbed his shirt, keeping him in place as she leaned into him, a low moan escaping her throat.

He pulled back, knowing that they couldn't go any farther when their daughter lay in her arms. Leaning her head back, Kahlan looked down to their daughter with a smile, her heart racing as the heat within continued to rise to the surface. Throughout the past year, she and Richard had made love more times than she had ever expected, but each time, she swore that it felt like their first time. When they returned to Aydindril, she knew that it would most likely never happen again. As long as they were here, she could make him believe that she wasn't a confessor and by wearing the Rada'Han, she wasn't hiding a part of herself. She was in no hurry to leave.

He remained beside her, his hand resting on her arm as he watched Grace. He found himself jealous of her for being able to be so close to Kahlan all of the time. Her eyes began to fall shut as sleep called for her once again. He got excited, hoping that she would remain asleep long enough for him to be with the woman he loved. She waited a few minutes, making sure their daughter had fallen asleep before she stood up and began making her way to their bedroom. Richard followed closely behind her, a smile on his lips as she lowered their daughter into her bed.

He grabbed her and pulled her into his arms, connecting their lips as they fell back onto their bed. They pulled at their clothes, tearing and ripping through the fabric as they desperately reached for bare skin. She pulled the silver metal from the top of the bed table as he covered her breasts in kisses, licking, sucking and playfully biting her skin. Locking the Rada'Han in place, Kahlan reached between them and untied his pants, quickly pushing them from his hips as she rolled over him. He was within her in seconds, their world complete in a single moment as she sat over him.

Her eyes closed as she leaned her head back, his hands sliding over her hips to her chest. She moved slowly at first, thriving off of the feel of him as he touched her. Richard stared at her, watching as she quickened her speed and began to pant, his name leaving her lips every few seconds. Her fingers pushed into his chest, holding herself steady as she began to lose control. It was one of his favorite sights, her above him, her hair falling around her face as she moved and her lips parted for air. Her body began to whither above him, he grabbed her sides as she cried his name in release. His eyes closed in pleasure as he spilled into her, her name leaving his lips in a hot gasp as he pulled her down against him.

A light laugh came from her as Grace began to cry. "I think that we woke her."

Pulling her face to his, he grinned. "She'll go back to sleep. I don't think that we should move."

"I wouldn't be able to anyway."

"Good."


	6. Chapter 6

"It won't be long, I promise." Richard told her as she laid back inside the casket. "Once we get close enough, I'll tap on the top and you drink the elixir, all right?"

He had gone over the plan with her more times than she could count, making her smile as he made sure she knew what to do. If anything went wrong, he would never forgive himself. "I know, drink it fast and push the bottle through the bottom, no evidence of what happened."

"It will be fine, I promise," he reassured her softly, leaning down close. "I won't let anything happen to you."

"I know." She reached up, took the hand of her daughter and gave it a gentle squeeze. "Be careful."

He nodded before kissing her, their daughter wiggling in his arms as she tried to get closer to her mother. "It won't be long. If I'm not there when you wake up, don't wait for me."

"If you're not there, we will all be dead."

He kissed her once more, passionately as if it would be the last time their lips touched. Closing the casket slowly, he took a long look at her, burning her image into his mind. The moment it was shut, Grace began to cry and reach for the wood, desperately trying to find her mother. "Shhh, it's all right," he tried to comfort her, gently rocking her in his arms as she searched the area for Kahlan. "It's going to be all right." His voice comforted her, making her grow quiet and rest her head against him.

Getting onto his horse, he looked back to the carriage, making sure that everything was as planned. When they pulled onto the main road, Richard nodded at the people on the sides, staring at him as he rode past, tears in his eyes and a child in his arms. After two hours, they reached the gates of the Confessor's Palace and he tapped against the casket as he waited for the guards to rush out to them.

"We didn't think that you would return." Anger filled him as Ann walked toward them. The guards stood around them, leaving no room for escape.

"I didn't think she deserved to be buried anywhere else but here." He locked his eyes on the head of the council, showing no fear as she inspected the carriage and casket.

"How long ago did she die?"

"Six days," he answered quickly, but softly, his voice breaking with the words. "She would want to be home."

"This is no longer her home. Who is this?" She motioned to Grace, sleeping in his arms.

"This is our daughter." Ann stepped closer and he pulled back, "You will not come near her. This may be Kahlan's home, but it will not be hers. She deserves a life away from you all."

The head of the council gave him an evil smile as she crossed her arms. "The child belongs to Aydindril. As a Confessor, she must be raised in our laws and taught to use her magic."

"No," Richard said coldly. "I will not allow you near our daughter."

"But she is not your daughter. You have no claim over her. She is ours." Turning to the guards, she lifted her head, letting them know she was about to give an order. "Take the child."

Richard jumped down from the horse and pulled his sword, cutting down two of the guards with no hesitation. The others stopped and looked back to Ann, who watched with a smile. "Come for our child and you will all die."

"Leave them, open the case, I want to see her." Stepping around the Seeker, she stepped up onto the carriage and looked down at the young Confessor. "What is it you want us to do with her body?"

"You will bury her with respect. You will lay her to rest as you would any Mother Confessor."

"Why would we do that? This Mother Confessor has betrayed her people, murdered her own child and then ran away to escape punishment."

His hold on the sword tightened in anger. "She did not run away! You refused to give her a fair hearing, you wouldn't even see her! You left her to rot in the dungeons while you took control! The very least you could do is allow her a decent burial! She deserves at least that much!"

"She deserved to have her head removed for treason. We will not have her laid here. You can leave her body by the gates. That is all she deserves."

Stepping toward her, Richard raised the sword. "You will give her the best burial that is available for The Mother Confessor! If you do this, our child will not be lost to you."

Ann seemed to think about it for a few moments as she studied his face, hoping to catch his bluff. "What would be your proposal?"

"You lay Kahlan to rest properly and I will stay here with our daughter. You will be able to train her to be everything she should be."

"You would allow her to stay simply for us letting your Confessor be buried with the others?" She seemed to agree, thinking that she was at the high end of the deal. "If you will swear to it, I will see that it is done."

"I will swear to nothing until Kahlan is among the others."

"Bring the Mother Confessor into the palace." The guards remained still, unsure if they were to do as she asked. "Now!"

Richard followed them through the halls; he and Grace were greeted with wide smiles and joyful hellos as they passed the servants. They knew that hope had arrived. Each bowed their head as they walked by, some followed them until they reached the memorial and realized what was happening. Shock came over them, stopping them dead in their steps. The Mother Confessor was dead. Everything was over.

"She will rest at the end of the hall. As a traitor, she will be last."

"She was no traitor." Richard argued, rocking Grace to keep her from crying. "You are the traitor. You, who conspired with her friend to murder her child, this child. Before when you stated that I was not the father, how could you know? If Kahlan had killed the child before we left, committing treason, then this child would be mine. You knew that the child lived, but you did nothing. You threw her into the dungeons for months and you tried to kill her for treason."

He stepped closer to her, locking eyes. "I will not allow you to call her a traitor, nor be buried as one. If she is, you will be buried beside her."

"You wouldn't be able to take two steps before my guards remove your head."

"They are not your guards. They are the protectors of the Mother Confessor!" He turned around to the guards, looking them each in the eye. "Do you believe that the Mother Confessor committed treason?" They each shook their heads. "Then why would you allow yourselves to be ruled by the council?"

"The Mother Confessor was gone. Now she is dead, we are in service to the council."

"You would protect people that tried to murder a child? An unborn child?" The guards stared at him in confusion, none of them having known what had happened. "Kahlan fought with everything she had to save her child, she would give her life to ensure that she lived. They locked her in the dungeons, both barely surviving on the small amount of food as the council waited for her to die."

They looked at Ann in surprise, shock and betrayal, lowering their swords and stepping back, away from them. "What are you doing?" She questioned them angrily. "Take the child!" No one moved, "Take the child now! She belongs to us! She will be raised as we see fit!"

One of the guards stepped forward, his armor clanging as he looked at his mistress, the woman who had told him what to do. "You ordered us to kill the child if she ever returned. You told us that the Mother Confessor had betrayed us all. That she would return with a child who would destroy us."

The other guards nodded in agreement as they looked to Richard, waiting for him to give them their new orders. "That is the Mother Confessor's child?"

"Yes."

The men knelt down before him upon his word, bowing to the child. Richard looked at them all carefully, making sure that they could be trusted. "If Kahlan were still alive, would you support her?"

"If what you say is true, yes." They all agreed with their leader, nodding their heads quickly.

"Take the council to the dungeon. They have no right running the land," Richard said strongly, leaving no room for confusion or doubt as to what they should do.

"But who will-"

Richard shifted his daughter in his arms and walked to the side of the wooden casket. "The Mother Confessor."

"The Mother Confessor is dead! She cannot rule the lands from the underworld," Ann spat as one of the guards took her roughly into his arms. "She would never have been able to rule as I have, she doesn't have the ability to forget what she wants and do what needs to be done."

Tapping on the casket, a smile came to Richard's face. "The Mother Confessor does what needs to be done."

The casket began to move, sending Ann and a few of the guards back a few steps in fear. The moment Kahlan was visible, Ann shrieked in horror as she rushed forward and grabbed the Confessor by the neck. "You will never take my place!" she shouted as the guards pulled her away. "How is this possible? You were dead! I would have never allowed you into my palace had you not been!"

Climbing out, Kahlan pushed back her shoulders and lifted her head, keeping her voice calm, but deadly. "This is not your palace. This is the Confessor's palace, you are merely a guest. You have been allowed to live here even after your actions had been discovered." Kahlan stepped forward, making the other woman fall to her knees. "You tried to murder our unborn child. You tried to kill my child with my own hands and you claim that I have committed treason." Her words were soaked in venom, her face filled with pain as tears filled her eyes. "You took someone I trusted and turned her against me, made her possess my body and for what? So that you rule our land? You will be punished for your crimes, you and everyone who helped you."

Turning to a few of the guards who knelt before her, Kahlan gave a small smile. "Find Fran and the rest of the council, please. Bring them to the meeting hall and tell them that the Mother Confessor has returned." She returned her eyes to Ann and knelt down in front of her, her long, dark hair falling around her shoulders as she leaned in close to the woman. "You, who knew better than the rest, will be the first I punish. You, who ordered that my child be killed. It is by my judgment that confession be your punishment." Before the woman had a moment to think, Kahlan grabbed her throat and released her magic. The sight of it brought a wave of relief through Richard. This is where she belongs.

Coming to her feet, she pushed back her hair and addressed the three remaining guards. "Take her to meet with the others. Richard and I will follow behind." They bowed their heads and rushed to do as commanded, each with a small smile on their lips as the once head of the council was dragged off crying for forgiveness. Once she was out of sight she turned to them, the ones she considered her family; the ones she loved before all others. "We need a new head of the council, if you are interested..." He nearly laughed at her request, "It would give you a true reason to stay."

"You are my reason." He looked at Grace, who grinned at her mother, "You both are."

Smiling, Kahlan stepped to him and allowed their daughter to wrap her tiny hand around one of her fingers. "The position is still open, if you want it."

"All right. I accept your offer, humbly Mother Confessor." A wide smile crossed his face as he gave a small bow.

She couldn't help but smile as well; the light in his eyes was contagious. "How did you know that this plan would work?"

"I didn't. It almost didn't, but if she thought that you were dead, she would want Grace. The only way to take her would be to say that she is yours. If she is yours, you didn't commit treason. We would win."

"Before, when you were talking to Ann and she said you weren't the father," she paused, trying to find the right words to say. "If you wouldn't mind, I'd like to tell her that you are."

"I would be honored."

She sighed in relief, a part of her fearing that he wouldn't want her to. "We should catch them before everyone arrives."

Crawling out of bed, Richard walked over to the door, his eyes filled with restless sleep. "Can I stay with you?" Her voice woke him completely as his eyes met hers. Kahlan stood at his door, arms tightly to her chest as she looked at him hopefully.

"Of course," he answered without hesitation, stepping aside to allow her into the room. "Is everything all right?"

Turning around, her cheeks turned a light red. "I couldn't sleep without you. I kept laying there and I couldn't get warm and I kept waiting for someone to come through the door and take me back to the dungeons."

Pulling her into his arms, Richard hugged her to him. "No one will ever put you back in there. I promise." She could only nod against his chest, words failing to form. "Is that why you insisted that Grace stay with me?" She nodded again, leaning more of herself into him. "Come on."

They pulled the blankets up, around them as they laid upon the bed, Kahlan moving as close to him as possible. Rubbing his hand up and down her arm, he tried to warm her shivering body. He could hear her teeth chatter, hear her breaths quicken as she moved in closer, desperately trying to get warm. Pushing her onto her back, he sat up and pulled at her nightgown, removing it from her body. He laid over her, breathing deeply in the crook of her neck as he warmed her with his body.

She wrapped her arms around his shoulder, pulling him closer. After a few minutes, he felt her heart beat slow and her hold on him loosen. He sighed in relief, lifting his head up to look at her. She stared up at him with a small smile. "What?"

Taking a deep breath, Kahlan forced back her smile. "Do you wish that you were the one who helped me conceive Grace?"

His own lips pulled up into a grin as he nodded. "Yes, but that doesn't stop me from loving her like I did." He stroked her cheek with his thumb, leaned in closer to her; their noses lightly touching. "As it goes in my mind, my heart, I did."

"I'm pregnant."

She spoke so softly, he wasn't sure that he heard her correctly. "What?"

"I'm pregnant, Richard," she repeated a little louder.

She couldn't remember seeing so much joy on someone's face before. Richard nearly jumped off of the bed before he pulled her up into his arms and kissed her. Before she had a moment to think, he laid her back on the bed and began kissing his way down to her stomach. With one last kiss against her stomach, he looked up to her face and beamed. "How?"

Laughing, she laid her head back against the pillow. "The usual way."

He laughed at his own question as he crawled back up her body to looked into her eyes. "How long have you known?"

"Not long. I realized as we rode into Aydindril."

He stared at her in wonder, his mind racing, his heart thumping in happiness as she ran her hands over part of his chest. Raising his eyebrows, he smiled mischievously. "We should celebrate."

"And how do you propose we do that?"

Snaking a hand down her side, he grabbed one of her legs and moved comfortably between them. "I can think of a few ways."

With a light gasp, she grabbed his hand and held it still. "We can't. I- I don't have the Rada'Han..."

"We don't need one. The first time we were together, you didn't wear one."

"No, but I didn't know what it felt like to... With you and now..." Her cheeks burned red as she averted her eyes. "We can't."

"It is amazing when we... together." He smiled as she looked at him. "We can still be together. Stop me before-"

"I won't want you to stop."

"Then I won't."

Before she could say anything else, he connected their lips and began moving his hands over her body, making all reason flee her mind. All that existed was their bed and the two on them. Nothing could take this away from them. A soft moan came from her as she pushed up into him, her body craving his as it always did. He kissed over her jaw, her neck and her shoulders, the taste of her skin had become something he was afraid that he would never taste again. It was he who suggested that they sleep in separate rooms, saying that now that they were back and she was home, she should sleep in the room that was meant for her, the Mother Confessor. He had regretted saying it from the moment it left his lips, but he couldn't help but believe that it would help her realize that she belonged here in Aydindril and not in some small home in the woods.

When she came to his door, he couldn't imagine being any happier, but compared to how he felt now, it was nothing. He lost himself in the feel of her beneath him, her nails in his back and sides, his name on her lips. She reached down between them, untying his pants as she pushed them from his waist with her legs. Richard pulled back just enough to be able to kick them to the floor and return above her. She hooked her legs around his, holding him to her as she pulled him closer to him.

Pulling his hair she pushed down her magic, her body threatening to let it all go. She gasped his name in warning, hoping that somehow it would stop it from happening. He didn't stop, he only held her closer; there was no fear in his heart. He wanted more of her, needed all of her and he knew that it terrified her to give it to him. Lifting his head, he looked down upon her, his heart pounding as he watched the darkness cover her eyes.

"Let it go," he said breathlessly, continuing to move above her with speed. "Trust me."

The world went dark, the room shook and his body exploded. It was perfect. For the second time in moments, he lifted his head and looked down at her. He was gasping for air, his eyes matching hers in the darkness. A smile covered his face as he waited for the world to stop spinning and for himself to focus his eyes on her. For a few moments, while her magic flooded through him, he saw everything differently. He saw her fears, her hopes and felt everything she felt. For a few moments, they were completely one.

"That was beautiful," he whispered as he cupped her face in his hands. "That was the most incredible thing I have ever experienced." He kissed her quickly and lifted her into his arms. "Did you feel that?"

She stared at him in confusion; he shouldn't be acting like this. She had confessed him; she felt her magic pour through him. She agreed that it was beautiful, being at last able to share that part of herself, but she hated herself for destroying him. Grabbing his face, she pulled him to her, looking into his eyes as she searched for some kind of change. There was none. "What?"

"Did you- Kahlan, I felt- Does it always feel that way?"

She licked her lips and shook her head, confused. "I don't understand. Richard, what- How are you still you?"

"I don't know, but I am and that was..." He smiled widely, "Does it always feel like that when you release your magic?"

Shaking her head, she leaned back in shock. "No, I've never felt anything like that before. Richard, are you still-"

"Yes," he answered the question quickly, without thought and with a wider grin. "Kahlan, you did not confess me. Well you did, but it didn't work. Kahlan, that was incredible. I could feel you within me."

Tears filled her eyes as she came to realize what he was saying. "Because you opened yourself to it. You allowed my magic to enter your soul." She stared at him lovingly, her heart pounding so hard, it was all that she could hear. "Why would you welcome it?"

"Because it's a part of you," he said simply as though it were the easiest question ever given to him. "Why would I not want it? Before, when you wore the Rada'Han, I could barely get my head around using it. I hated that you needed to hide a part of yourself to be with me, but I wanted you so badly that I never said anything and I'm sorry. I shouldn't have-"

"You didn't have to say anything. I saw it in your eyes, the way you would rush to take it off of me afterward... You didn't have to say it."

He lowered himself back on top of her, grinning widely. "We don't have to use it ever again. We can be together without it. You don't have to hide a part of yourself any longer."

"Yes I do. Richard, what if this was all a mistake and the next time I-"

"You don't have to be afraid. Kahlan, I felt your fear, I saw it all and I know that you don't have to deal with those things anymore. I knew it the moment I looked into your eyes." Something in his voice made her believe his words. "Before, when I asked you to let go, I asked you to trust me and you did. You let go and trusted that it would be all right and it was. With us, there is no limit, nothing that stops us. You and me, our love, it's beyond magic."

Kahlan couldn't find the right words, she lay there, searching her mind, but found nothing. Slowly, she reached up and cupped his face in her hands, pulling him closer so that their foreheads were touching. "I don't know how this is possible."

"What?" he whispered, quietly as Grace began to move in her bed across the room.

"How I can be this happy."

"It's how I feel every moment that I am with you."

She grinned, "You're always this happy?"

"Always."

Raising an eyebrow, she shifted her body beneath him, closing her eyes for a moment at the pressure. "Did you still want to celebrate?"

He didn't answer her, he didn't have to. Pressing his lips to hers, he pushed down against her and snaked his hands over her body. Both determined to celebrate as long as possible.


End file.
